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The chart below gives attendance figures for grandville Stadium from 2017, which are projected through 2030 after a major improvement project.

The chart below gives attendance figures for grandville Stadium from 2017, which are projected through 2030 after a major improvement project. yJkP
The given bar chart provides information about the numbers of visitors in the Grandville stadium from 2017, projected up until 2030 after many improvements in the stadium. Overall one can see, that the improvement project is expected to lead to much higher attendance numbers in the theatre and at concerts. The numbers of visitors at sports events however, are expected to only slightly increase. First of all, it is clear that the improvement project has the most influence on concerts. In 2017, the numbers of attendance only reached 30, 000 people, in 2020 after the 2019 stadium improvement 10, 000 people more visited concerts. In 2030 a number of 30, 000 visitors are expected to attend a concert. The attendance number at sports events slightly increase between 2017 and 2020 from 140, 000 to 160, 000 people. Moreover, this number is projected in 2030 to slightly increase up to 170, 000 visitors. The number of the theater visitors increased just like the number of sporting events slowly from 10, 000 to 20, 000 people. The expected and projected number of attendance in 2030 however, is going to increase dramatically to nearly 50, 000 visitors.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart provides information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Grandville
stadium from 2017, projected up until 2030 after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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improvements
in the stadium.

Overall
one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, that the
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improvement
project is
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expected
to lead to much higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attendance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and at concerts. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
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visitors
at sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
however
, are
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expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
slightly
increase.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
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improvement
project has the most influence on concerts. In 2017, the
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numbers
of
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attendance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reached 30, 000
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people
, in 2020 after the 2019 stadium
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improvement
10, 000
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people
more visited concerts. In 2030 a
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number
of 30, 000
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visitors
are
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expected
to attend a concert.

The
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attendance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
at sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
slightly
increase between 2017 and 2020 from 140, 000 to 160, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is projected
in 2030 to
slightly
increase up to 170, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
. The
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number
of the theater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the
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number
of sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
slowly
from 10, 000 to 20, 000
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people
. The
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expected
and projected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attendance
in 2030
however
, is going to increase
dramatically
to
nearly
50, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
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IELTS academic The chart below gives attendance figures for grandville Stadium from 2017, which are projected through 2030 after a major improvement project.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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