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Table below shows the percentage of men and women workers in different type of industry in 1990,2000 and2010

Table below shows the percentage of men and women workers in different type of industry in 1990, 2000 and2010 9b83
The given table illustrate the percentage of male and female female employees who works in different industry in the year of 1990 2000 and 2010. It is clear from the table that in the man work ratio in retail was steady in given years while in women 1 percentage rising up in the year by year. In the health industry men employees percentage was increased such as 6% 8% 9% in your 1990 2000 and 2010. In female employees this was the highest ratio from all industry which is 23%, 25% and 27%. Issues in the table Mel worker who worked in manufacturing company was highest 30% in 1990 but it was decreased half of them 15% in 2000 it was only 10% in 2010. It was similar in women to manufacturing from 15% in 1990 it reached only 2% in your of 2010. It is the tourism that was a positive trend in women and men because in men it was declined ratio with day year by year and women's percentage was gradually increased Overall, it is shown in the table that held Industries female workers head highest ratio and lowest ratio in manufacturing however figure was increased in the man in health industry.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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table
illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
employees who works in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 1990 2000 and 2010.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the
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table
that in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
in retail was steady in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years while in women 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
rising up in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In the health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was increased
such as 6% 8% 9% in your 1990 2000 and 2010. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
employees this was the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
which is 23%, 25% and 27%.

Issues in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
table
Mel worker who worked in manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
was highest 30% in 1990
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
was decreased
half of them 15% in 2000 it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% in 2010. It was similar in women to manufacturing from 15% in 1990 it reached
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% in your of 2010. It is the tourism that was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend in women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
it
was declined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
with day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and women's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was
gradually
increased

Overall
, it
is shown
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
table
that held
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
workers head
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
and lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
in manufacturing
however
figure
was increased
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
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IELTS academic Table below shows the percentage of men and women workers in different type of industry in 1990, 2000 and2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
205 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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