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The chart below gives information on the percentage of boys and girls who participate in 4 kinds of sport outside school hours, including the percentage of those who do not.

The chart below gives information on the percentage of boys and girls who participate in 4 kinds of sport outside school hours, including the percentage of those who do not. 2r5GA
The given bar graph depicts that the information about the proportion of men and women take part in different types of games after school time, while the percentage of those people who do not so sport. Overall, it is clear that swimming and football os more popular sport in boys, whereas, the majority of girls engage in netball. At the first glance, it is vivid that the maximum percentage of male are interested in swimming and football with 20% and 16% as compare to female with 4% and 13%, respectively. Furthermore, 17% of women are preferred to playing netball, however, only 3% of men love to participate in it. Therefore, basketball is minimally more popular among boys with 8% and only 7% of girls are liked to taking part in it. Mostly the same proportion of both ganders do not like to play this kind of sports, which is approximately 5%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph depicts that the information about the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of games after school time, while the percentage of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sport.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that swimming and football
Possible spelling mistake found.
os
more popular sport in boys, whereas, the majority of girls engage in netball.

At the
first
glance, it is vivid that the maximum percentage of male
are interested
in swimming and football with 20% and 16% as compare to female with 4% and 13%,
respectively
.
Furthermore
, 17% of women
are preferred
to playing netball,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to participate in it.

Therefore
, basketball is
minimally
more popular among boys with 8% and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7% of girls
are liked
to taking part in it.
Mostly
the same proportion of both ganders do not like to play this kind of sports, which is approximately 5%.
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IELTS academic The chart below gives information on the percentage of boys and girls who participate in 4 kinds of sport outside school hours, including the percentage of those who do not.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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