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Changes taking place in frenton from 1990 to 2012

Changes taking place in frenton from 1990 to 2012 W5mNb
The layouts illustrate the variation taking place in the small town Frenton over the time period between 1990 to 2012. Overall, The town showcases major transformation which consists expansion of hospital boundaries as well as addition in the residential areas. Looking at the map, Seems that in due time there has been drastic development to the left of high street. Some noticeable variations such as extension of hospital boundaries, Playing ground was replaced by apartments as well as the green covers chopped down to construct Technopark has been observed in 2012. In addition to that the bank was demolished and it place filled to a Restaurant. However, school and library remain unchanged. The other part, right to the high street evidence existence of hotel and golf course which used to be an cafe and park in 1990. To the North some apartments was built which used to be vacant 22 years back. Nevertheless cinema, Supermarket and houses was as similar as back in 1990.
The layouts illustrate the variation taking place in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town
Possible spelling mistake found.
Frenton
over the time period
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1990 and 2012".
between 1990 to 2012
.

Overall
, The town showcases major transformation which consists expansion of hospital boundaries
as well
as addition in the residential areas.

Looking at the map, Seems that in due time there has been drastic development to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of high street.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
noticeable variations such as extension of hospital boundaries, Playing ground
was replaced
by apartments
as well
as the green covers chopped down to construct
Possible spelling mistake found.
Technopark
has
been observed
in 2012.
In addition
to that the bank
was demolished
and it
Did you mean "places"?
place
filled to a Restaurant.
However
, school and library remain unchanged.

The other part, right to the high street evidence existence of hotel and golf course which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and park in 1990. To the North
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
apartments
was built
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be vacant 22 years back.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
cinema, Supermarket and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
was as similar as back in 1990.
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IELTS academic Changes taking place in frenton from 1990 to 2012

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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