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The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035. v.2

The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035. v. 2
The bar chart depicts the proportion of people aged 65 and over in five countries in 1985 and a predicted change in this age group for 2035. Overall, the percentage of people aged 65-over in all countries increased and is predicted to rise over the period of 50 years. It is also clear that Wales had the highest number of people in the 65-over age group over the period as a whole. In 1985, Wales witnessed the highest percentage of people aged 65-over, at approximately 16%. The UK and England had the same figure and followed Wales, at 15% in each of both countries. On the other hand, Scotland and Northen Ireland had the lower figures, at around 14% and 12% respectively. In 2035, the number of people who are from 65 in all countries is projected to grow considerably. the highest percentage of 26% is seen in Wales. Scotland had the next-highest percentage of population aged 65-over, at 25%. Notably, the proportion of the three remaining countries is forecast to grow to the same point, at around 23%.
The bar chart depicts the proportion of
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people
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aged
65 and
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over
in five
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countries
in 1985 and a predicted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in this age group for 2035.
Overall
, the
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percentage
of
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
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65-over
in all
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countries
increased and
is predicted
to rise
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over
the period of 50 years. It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Wales had the highest number of
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people
in the
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65-over
age group
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over
the period as a whole.

In 1985, Wales witnessed the highest
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percentage
of
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
65-over
, at approximately 16%. The UK and England had the same figure and followed Wales, at 15% in each of both
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countries
.
On the other hand
, Scotland and
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Northen
Ireland had the lower figures, at around 14% and 12%
respectively
.

In 2035, the number of
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people
who are from 65 in all
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countries
is projected
to grow
considerably
.
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the
highest
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percentage
of 26% is
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seen
in Wales. Scotland had the
next
-highest
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percentage
of population
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aged
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65-over
, at 25%.
Notably
, the proportion of the three remaining
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countries
is forecast to grow to the same point, at around 23%.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS academic The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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