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The chart below gives information about how people aged 25-34 are housed in the UK

The bar chart compares the percentage of people aged 25-34 who were homeowners or renters over a period of ten years. It is clear that the proportion of homeowners has decreased dramatically. By contrast, the number of renter people has had a significant rise during these years. In 2004, the percentage of people who rented their house was just over 20% which has had steady growth until 2014, while in 2006 and 2012 went down only a small drop. We can see there is a peak bar in 2014 that shows the number of renters has soared to approximately 50%. The number of homeowners was just under 60% in 2004 but it has declined gradually from 2004 to 2006, in 2007 has increased only a small rise and from 2011 to 2012 has remained stable. In 2014 the percentage of people who were homeowner was about 35%. Overall, the bar chart demonstrates people aged 25-34 who purchased house have fallen, whereas another group aged 25-34 who rented their house have risen over these years.
The bar chart compares the percentage of
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people
aged 25-34
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were homeowners or renters over a period of ten years.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the proportion of homeowners has decreased
dramatically
. By contrast, the number of renter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
has
had a significant rise during these years.

In 2004, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
rented their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 20% which has had steady growth until 2014, while in 2006 and 2012 went down
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
drop. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
there is a peak bar in 2014 that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the number of renters has soared to approximately 50%.

The number of homeowners was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 60% in 2004
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has declined
gradually
from 2004 to 2006, in 2007 has increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
rise and from 2011 to 2012 has remained stable. In 2014 the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean “where homeowner was”?
were homeowner was
about 35%.

Overall
, the bar chart demonstrates
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people
aged 25-34
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
have fallen, whereas another group aged 25-34
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
rented their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
have risen over these years.
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IELTS academic The chart below gives information about how people aged 25-34 are housed in the UK

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
174 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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