Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The changing rates of crime in the inner city from 2003-2012

The changing rates of crime in the inner city from 2003-2012 B0Mm
The chart shows some data about the different crimes executed by local people in Newport city from 2003 to 2012. We will analyze the number of incidents according to three different crimes: burglary, car theft and robbery. First, let’s take a look at the robbery numbers. It is noticeable that robbery is the less committed crime with a range between 500 and 1000 incidents per year. 2008 was the year with less robberies and 2005 the year with the most incidents with almost 1000. Secondly, let’s analyze car thefts data, which are surprisingly higher than the robbery incidents. In 2006 the city experienced about 2000 car thefts, and since then it has been increasing rapidly. In 2012, the numbers were higher than 2500 incidents. Finally, we have burglary, that used to be the most problematic crime back at 2004, but the incident numbers have been decreasing importantly. The thefts had fallen form over 3500 to 1300 in a range of eight years. We can conclude that the crimes in Newport have been changing considerably through the years. Fortunately, the burglary problem is now being controlled and we expect numbers to keep decreasing. On the other hand, car theft is clearly still a crime that has not been correctly manipulated by the government because numbers are higher than ever before, while robbery has been continuously experiencing no more than 1000 incidents per year.
The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
data about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
executed by local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Newport city from 2003 to 2012. We will analyze the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
according to three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
: burglary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
and robbery.

First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s take a look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
. It is noticeable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
is the
Make sure that the adjective 'less' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'committed'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
less committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
with a range between 500 and 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. 2008 was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun robberies is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robberies
and 2005 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
with almost 1000.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s analyze
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thefts
data, which are
surprisingly
higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
. In 2006 the city experienced about 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thefts
, and since then it has been increasing
rapidly
. In 2012, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
were higher than 2500 incidents.

Finally
, we have burglary, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be the most problematic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
back at 2004,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
have been decreasing
importantly
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thefts
had fallen form over 3500 to 1300 in a range of eight years.

We can conclude that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in Newport have been changing
considerably
through the years.
Fortunately
, the burglary problem is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
controlled and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
decreasing.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theft
is
clearly
still
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
that has not been
correctly
manipulated by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
are higher than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
has been
continuously
experiencing no more than 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The changing rates of crime in the inner city from 2003-2012

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
232 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts