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the changes in unemployment rates in the US and Japan from March 1993 to March 1999

the changes in unemployment rates in the US and Japan from March 1993 to March 1999 GrroL
The given graph illustrates the changes in unemployment rates in the US and Japan from March 1993 to March 1999. The general overview here is that, while the US recorded the highest jobless rates at the beginning of the period, by 1999 the rates had become much closer betwe the two countries.   Turning to the first main feature, in March 1993, the US accounted for 7. 0% unemployment, which was the highest in any given year. Over the next six period, the US ratio declined moderately to finish at exactly 5. 0%, which was a 2. 0% decrease compared to the original figure.   In contrast, Japan's rate of unemployment experienced a considerable increase. Beginning in March 1993, Japan represented a modest 2. 5% unemployment before rising to just under 4. 5% by March 1996. Japan's jobless rate eventually overtook the US by March 1998 and by March 1999, the US rate of unemployed exceeded that of Japan again. Japan finished with precisely 5. 0%, which was similar to the US in that given year
The
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given
graph illustrates the
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changes
in
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unemployment
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rates
in the US and
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Japan
from March 1993 to March 1999. The general overview here is that, while the US recorded the highest jobless
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rates
at the beginning of the period, by 1999 the
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rates
had become much closer
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betwe
the two countries.
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Turning to the
first
main feature, in March 1993, the US accounted for 7. 0%
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unemployment
, which was the highest in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
year. Over the
next
six period, the US ratio declined
moderately
to finish at exactly 5. 0%, which was a 2. 0% decrease compared to the original figure.
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In contrast
, Japan's
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rate
of
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unemployment
experienced a considerable increase. Beginning in March 1993,
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Japan
represented a modest 2. 5%
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unemployment
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before
rising to
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just
under 4. 5% by March 1996. Japan's jobless
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rate
eventually
overtook the US by March 1998 and by March 1999, the US
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rate
of unemployed exceeded that of
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Japan
again.
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Japan
finished with
precisely
5. 0%, which was similar to the US in that
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given
year
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IELTS academic the changes in unemployment rates in the US and Japan from March 1993 to March 1999

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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