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THE TABLE BELOW SHOW THE FIGURES IN THOUSANDS FOR IMPIROSNMENTS IN FIVE COUBTRIES BETWEEN 1930 AND 1980.

THE TABLE BELOW SHOW THE FIGURES IN THOUSANDS FOR IMPIROSNMENTS IN FIVE COUBTRIES BETWEEN 1930 AND 1980. dl3Gr
THE BAR CHART ILLUSTRATES THE NUMBER OF PRISONER IN FIVE NATIONS (GREAT BIRTIAN, AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND, USA AND CANADA) FROM 1930 TO 1980. THE UNITS ARE MEASURED IN THOUSANDS. OVERALL, THE DIGIT OF CRIMINALS IN USA AND CANADA IS THE HIGHEST WHEREAS, THE LAW BREAKERS OF GREAT BRITAIN IS THE LOWEST. IT CAN BE CLEARLY SEEN THAT, IN BEGINNING PERIOD THE NUMERIC OF UK LAW OFFENDERS IS ACCOUNTED FOR NEAR 30, 000 THEN, IT INCREASES TILL 1970 WITH AROUND 70, 000 AND REACHED 85, 000 IN FINAL YEAR. MEANWHILE, THE DIGITS OF CRIMINALS FLUCTUATES DURING THE GIVEN PERIOD OF TIME IT BEGIN FROM APPROXIMATELY 70, 000 AND IT ENDS AT MERELY ABOVE 40, 000. IN 1930, THE NUMBER OF PRISONER IN NEW ZEALND IS STATED AS 100, 000 AND IT DRASTICALLY DECLINES TO AROUND 55, 000 IN 10 YEARS. AFTER THAT, IT REMAINS CONSTANT FOR THREE DECADES AND IT ROSES TO 85, 000 IN 1980. THE BAR CHART FURTHER COLLATE THAT, UNITED STATES AND CANADA SHOW A SIMILAR TREND IN GIVEN TIME AS IT START AT 120, 000 AND 100, 00 RESPECTIVELY. IN 1940, THE IN MATES NUMBERS OF CANADA INCREASES BY 30, 000 WHILE, IN USA IT DECREASES BY 10, 000 AND DIGITS OF BOTH REGIONS SHOWS A NEGLIGIBLE DIFFERENCE. FINALLY, IN 1980 USA REACHES ITS PEAK POINT OF 140, 000 AND CANADA IS AT 90, 000.
THE BAR CHART ILLUSTRATES THE NUMBER OF PRISONER IN FIVE NATIONS (GREAT
Possible spelling mistake found.
BIRTIAN
, AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND, USA AND CANADA) FROM 1930 TO 1980. THE UNITS
ARE MEASURED
IN THOUSANDS.

OVERALL
, THE DIGIT OF CRIMINALS
A determiner is probably missing here: "IN the USA".
IN USA
AND CANADA IS THE HIGHEST WHEREAS, THE LAW BREAKERS OF GREAT BRITAIN IS THE LOWEST. IT CAN BE
CLEARLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
THAT, IN BEGINNING PERIOD THE NUMERIC OF UK LAW OFFENDERS
IS ACCOUNTED
FOR NEAR 30, 000 THEN, IT INCREASES TILL 1970 WITH AROUND 70, 000 AND REACHED 85, 000 IN FINAL YEAR. MEANWHILE, THE DIGITS OF CRIMINALS FLUCTUATES DURING THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
PERIOD OF TIME IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BEGIN
FROM APPROXIMATELY 70, 000 AND IT ENDS AT
MERELY
ABOVE 40, 000. IN 1930, THE NUMBER OF PRISONER IN NEW
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZEALND
IS STATED
AS 100, 000 AND IT
DRASTICALLY
DECLINES TO AROUND 55, 000 IN 10 YEARS. AFTER THAT, IT REMAINS CONSTANT FOR THREE DECADES AND IT ROSES TO 85, 000 IN 1980.

THE BAR CHART
FURTHER
COLLATE THAT,
The proper noun "United STATES" needs to be capitalized.
UNITED STATES
AND CANADA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOW
A SIMILAR TREND IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
TIME AS IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
AT 120, 000 AND 100, 00
RESPECTIVELY
. IN 1940, THE IN MATES NUMBERS OF CANADA INCREASES BY 30, 000 WHILE,
A determiner is probably missing here: "IN the USA".
IN USA
IT DECREASES BY 10, 000 AND DIGITS OF BOTH REGIONS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOWS
A NEGLIGIBLE DIFFERENCE.
FINALLY
, IN 1980 USA REACHES ITS PEAK POINT OF 140, 000 AND CANADA IS AT 90, 000.

IELTS academic THE TABLE BELOW SHOW THE FIGURES IN THOUSANDS FOR IMPIROSNMENTS IN FIVE COUBTRIES BETWEEN 1930 AND 1980.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
228 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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