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The bricks manufacturing process

The bricks manufacturing process g5Adl
The diagram shows the brick manufacturing process starting from digging clay and ending up with delivering bricks which is divided into seven steps. To begin with, the clay is dug by a digger and then turn into smaller pieces by a metal grid at this stage where a roller assists. Going on the next step, after blending with sand and water, the clay is made into bricks by a wire cutter or a mould. In the following stage, bricks are dried in an oven for one or two days. After drying process, they are heated at a moderate degree (200 degrees - 980 degrees) first and then at a high one (870 degrees - 1300 degrees) in a kiln. A cooling chamber is prepared for these heated bricks and it costs two or three days. Last but not least, as the main process mentioned is done, bricks are packaged and delivered to customers.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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brick
manufacturing process starting from digging clay and ending up with delivering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
which
is divided
into seven steps.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the clay
is dug
by a digger and then turn into smaller pieces by a metal grid at this stage where a roller assists. Going on the
next
step, after blending with sand and water, the clay
is made
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
by a wire cutter or a
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
.

In the following stage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are dried
in an oven for one or two days. After drying process, they
are heated
at a moderate
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degree
(200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
980
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degrees)
first
and then at a high one (870
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
1300
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degrees)
in a kiln. A cooling chamber
is prepared
for these heated
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bricks
and it costs two or three days.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, as the main process mentioned
is done
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bricks
are packaged
and delivered to customers.

IELTS academic The bricks manufacturing process

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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