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The best way to help underachieving pupils is to have compulsory after school activities which they must attend. This way they will become more involved in school and their grades will improve. To what extent do you agree?

The best way to help underachieving pupils is to have compulsory after school activities which they must attend. This way they will become more involved in school and their grades will improve. JDpe
All students are not intelligent by born as they do not learn all subjects well in their studies. Some people believe that students who are not schollar in the subjects have to arrange some extra classes after school as a result their involvement by school increasing which affect their score. I completely disagree with this statement, in the following paragraphs, my view explain in detail. Firstly, if student is not intelligent and do not grasp enough knowledge in regular class there is no meaning to arrange extra class after school because the same teacher does not give them more lessons rather than not teach them in same class. Instead of giving them proper guidance about poor subjects and arrange them in separate classes in school time and give them depth lessons about their weak area. According to a survey of The Times of India, students who spend more time in school do not achieve medal rather than who learn right lessons in very less time. Secondly, If the student is weak parents as well as teacher both are equally teach them in free time. Parents motivate them or give them extra practical knowledge about the subjects same as teacher also give them right direction towards study plan and make a time table for them to followed by student on regular basis. For example, mother is best teacher of their kids so instead of preessurise their kid in extra classes teach them at home learn with fun. On the other side student already frustrated by their regular schooling hours in additionally hours affect their moral and they feel very boring therefore they can not learn at that time else they pass the time in extra hours. In conclusion, Parents give their children to extra moral support rather than send them in extra class also teacher and school are equally guide them for their lacking point instead of pressurising them.
All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not intelligent by born as they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
well in their studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
schollar
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as a result
their involvement by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
increasing which affect their score. I completely disagree with this statement, in the following paragraphs, my view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in detail.
Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is not intelligent and do not grasp
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge in regular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
there is no meaning to arrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them more lessons
rather
than not teach them in same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Instead
of giving them proper guidance about poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and arrange them in separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them depth lessons about their weak area. According to a survey of The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
of India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
do not achieve medal
rather
than
Did you mean "whom"?
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
right lessons in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Secondly
, If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is weak parents
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
both are
equally
Consider using a past participle here: "taught".
teach
them in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Parents motivate them or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
practical knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
same as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them right direction towards study plan and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
table for them to followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
on regular basis.
For example
, mother
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
of their kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
instead
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
preessurise
their kid in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
teach them at home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
with fun. On the other side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
already frustrated by their regular schooling hours in
additionally
hours affect their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
moral and
they feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
boring
therefore
they can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
else they pass the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
hours.
In conclusion
, Parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
moral support
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are
equally
Consider using a past participle here: "guided".
guide
them for their lacking point
instead
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurising' is British English.
pressurising
them.
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IELTS academic The best way to help underachieving pupils is to have compulsory after school activities which they must attend. This way they will become more involved in school and their grades will improve.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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