Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese yen from 1953to 1973.

The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese yen from 1953to 1973. VDWm
The given line graph illustrates the average monthly earned income along with the cost of black and white as well as colour TV in Japanese yen over a period of two decades. Getting into details, with regard to price of black and white TV stood at 10, 0000 yen in the first year, then it was a decrease considerably to just half (50, 000 yen) by 1963, after which there was a moderate decline in price and it reached approximately 30, 000 yen in the final year. Furthermore, the cost of colour TV was starting at 180, 000 yen in 1963, by following this, it decreased dramatically, by the end of 1973, price was stand up at 80, 000 yen. On the other hand, the average monthly wage was initiating with 30, 000 yen in 1953, after which it hit the peak with significantly rise by 180, 000 yen in the year 1973. From the overall analysis, it is clear that the cost of both kinds TV was declining, whereas average monthly salary was esacalate over the given time period.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the average monthly earned income along with the cost of black and white
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
TV in Japanese yen over a period of two decades. Getting into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, with regard to price of black and white TV stood at 10, 0000 yen in the
first
year, then it was a decrease
considerably
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
half (50, 000 yen) by 1963, after which there was a moderate decline in price and it reached approximately 30, 000 yen in the final year.
Furthermore
, the cost of
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
TV was starting at 180, 000 yen in 1963, by following this, it decreased
dramatically
, by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 1973, price was stand up at 80, 000 yen.
On the other hand
, the average monthly wage was initiating with 30, 000 yen in 1953, after which it hit the peak with
significantly
rise by 180, 000 yen in the year 1973. From the
overall
analysis, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the cost of both kinds TV was declining, whereas average monthly salary was
Possible spelling mistake found.
esacalate
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese yen from 1953to 1973.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
180 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    The chart below shows the number of four different species of fish between 1982 and 2007.
    The given line graph illustrates the number of four species of fish, namely Atlantic Cod, Haddock, Yellow fin Tuna and Swordfosh from 1982 to 2007. From the overall analysis, Yellow fin Tuna and Swordfish remained stable in number, in contrast, Atlantic Cod and Haddock showed the oppose trend over t...
  • 6band
    The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901.
    The table gives information about the number of companies and staff members (male, female) in England and wales from different years 1851 to 1901. Data is calibrated in numbers. Overall, The highest male employees from England in the year 1851 with 287, 100 people and female also from same year wit...
  • 6band
    Contribution of sectors to the economy in the UK
    The bar graph provides information on the proportion of contribution of the different sectors such as agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services to the economy of UK from 1900-2000. Overall, it can be clearly seen from the data that the trend of agriculture and manufacturing wer...
  • 6band
    Changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology
    The data is in the form of a line graph, which provides information on the proportion of changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology (home computer, CD player mobile phone and internet access) between 1996/97 to 2002/03 in the UK households. Overall, the percentage change for all tech...
  • 6band
    Process of producing potable water
    The diagram illustrates the process of removing salt from the seawater to produce potable water. First, the salt water is piped down the sea. Next, it is placed to a Pre-treatment filter, filter backwash will then be returned to the sea. After filtering, the water is forced through a membrane at hi...
  • 6band
    Average number of hours worked per week
    Two graphs give different information related to eight professional groups. The bar chart indicates the number of weekly work hours done by the groups. Simultaneously, the pie graph illustrates the percentages of people suffering from stress-related illness in the different professions given. Busin...