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The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese yen from 1953to 1973.

The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese yen from 1953to 1973. VDWm
The given line graph illustrates the average monthly earned income along with the cost of black and white as well as colour TV in Japanese yen over a period of two decades. Getting into details, with regard to price of black and white TV stood at 10, 0000 yen in the first year, then it was a decrease considerably to just half (50, 000 yen) by 1963, after which there was a moderate decline in price and it reached approximately 30, 000 yen in the final year. Furthermore, the cost of colour TV was starting at 180, 000 yen in 1963, by following this, it decreased dramatically, by the end of 1973, price was stand up at 80, 000 yen. On the other hand, the average monthly wage was initiating with 30, 000 yen in 1953, after which it hit the peak with significantly rise by 180, 000 yen in the year 1973. From the overall analysis, it is clear that the cost of both kinds TV was declining, whereas average monthly salary was esacalate over the given time period.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the average monthly earned income along with the cost of black and white
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
TV in Japanese yen over a period of two decades. Getting into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, with regard to price of black and white TV stood at 10, 0000 yen in the
first
year, then it was a decrease
considerably
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
half (50, 000 yen) by 1963, after which there was a moderate decline in price and it reached approximately 30, 000 yen in the final year.
Furthermore
, the cost of
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
TV was starting at 180, 000 yen in 1963, by following this, it decreased
dramatically
, by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 1973, price was stand up at 80, 000 yen.
On the other hand
, the average monthly wage was initiating with 30, 000 yen in 1953, after which it hit the peak with
significantly
rise by 180, 000 yen in the year 1973. From the
overall
analysis, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the cost of both kinds TV was declining, whereas average monthly salary was
Possible spelling mistake found.
esacalate
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese yen from 1953to 1973.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
180 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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