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The below figure illustrate what UK graduates and post graduates did,who did not go into full time employment after leaving college in 2008.

The below figure illustrate what UK graduates and post graduates did, who did not go into full time employment after leaving college in 2008. VwjkJ
The provided bar graph illustrates that the UK graduate and post graduate students didnot join the full time work until they have passed the college in 2008. Overall, as ir can be clearly noted that large number of both graduates and post graduates students went back to universities for further studies. First of all, the graduates of part time work and unemployment was approximately similar, which is 17, 735 and 16, 235 respectively. In addition, the number of students for further study is maximum, exactly 29, 665. Further, the students for voluntary work is minimum as compared to other. Secondly, for post graduates, the number of students of further study is somewhat double of the number of unemployed studenrs. Also, the number of students who involved in part time work is quite more than the people who are doing voluntary work.
The provided bar graph illustrates that the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
and post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake found.
didnot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the full time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
until they have passed the college in 2008.
Overall
, as
Possible spelling mistake found.
ir
can be
clearly
noted that large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
went back to universities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
studies.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and unemployment was approximately similar, which is 17, 735 and 16, 235
respectively
.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
study is maximum, exactly 29, 665.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is minimum as compared to other.
Secondly
, for post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
study is somewhat double of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of unemployed
Possible spelling mistake found.
studenrs
.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who involved in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is quite more than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are doing voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS academic The below figure illustrate what UK graduates and post graduates did, who did not go into full time employment after leaving college in 2008.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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