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Maps below show the centre of a small town called isilp as it now and plans for it's development

Maps below show the centre of a small town called isilp as it now and plans for it's development g2dg
The above diagrams compares the overall development of islip down centre at present as well as it's future view. The present town centre is a very small place having few features, places and roads whereas the plannned development is more of a large area consisting of many buildings and well developed roads. To begin with, present town centre had shops on the either side of the main road following with the residential area on the southern side. On contrary planned development consists of variety of landmarks including bus station and car park on the western and Eastern side of shopping centre and pedestrian crossing in between over looking other shops on either side of it namely on the southern part. In addition, expansion of new residential areas has also been planned however area allocated for park will be reduced as more road development will be taken place consisting of two way carriage way. Moreover, new housing areas wil be designed with separate roads but school will remain on its initial location.
The above diagrams compares the
overall
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development
of
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islip
down
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
at present
as well
as it's future view. The present town
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
place having few features, places and
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roads
whereas the
Possible spelling mistake found.
plannned
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development
is more of a large
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area
consisting of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
buildings and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, present town
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
had shops on the either side of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
following with the residential
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area
on the southern side. On contrary planned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
consists of variety of landmarks including bus station and car park on the western and Eastern side of shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and pedestrian crossing in between
Did you mean "overlooking"?
over looking
other shops on either side of it
namely
on the southern part.
In addition
, expansion of new residential
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areas
has
also
been planned
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
allocated for park will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
will
be taken
place consisting of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
two way
carriage way.
Moreover
, new housing
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areas
Possible spelling mistake found.
wil
be designed
with separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
school will remain on its initial location.
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IELTS academic Maps below show the centre of a small town called isilp as it now and plans for it's development

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
171 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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