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The barchart shows the trend of telepohone calls in ginland in 2004

The barchart shows the trend of telepohone calls in ginland in 2004 KwbD3
The given bar chart elucidates the data of telephone calls in minutes of Finland of three various categories from the year 1995 to 2004. Overall, what stand out from the chart is that national and international landline calls in minute in millions showed an upward trend. Moreover, local calls from landline were the most preferred way of communication of Finland people. To commence with, in 1995, in Finland people talked 12, 000 millions of minutes over local landlines, after 6 year, number of minutes of call reached more than 16000 millions in 2001. After which, as year passed, the trend of local landlines calls decreased significantly and recorded 12000 millions of minutes of calls in 2004. In addition, 6000 millions minutes of national and international calls recorded of through landline in 1995. As year passed, the number of minutes of national and international calls gradually increased and recorded over 10, 000 millions of minutes in the year 2004, whereas the mobile phone were the least used in 1995 communicate. However, in 1996, around 1, 000 millions of minute registered of calls via mobile phones. The trend of smartphone increased considerably after year 1996, and 9500 millions of minutes recorded in Finland of people who talked on mobile phones in 2004.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart elucidates the data of telephone
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calls
in minutes of Finland of three various categories from the
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year
1995 to 2004.

Overall
, what stand out from the chart is that national and international landline
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calls
in
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minute
in
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millions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend.
Moreover
, local
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calls
from landline were the most preferred way of communication of Finland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To commence with, in 1995, in Finland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
talked 12, 000
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millions
of minutes over local landlines, after 6
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year
, number of minutes of
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call
reached more than 16000
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millions
in 2001. After which, as
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year
passed, the trend of local landlines
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calls
decreased
significantly
and
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recorded
12000
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millions
of minutes of
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calls
in 2004.

In addition
, 6000
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millions
minutes of national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recorded
of through landline in 1995. As
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year
passed, the number of minutes of national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
gradually
increased and
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recorded
over 10, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of minutes in the
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year
2004, whereas the mobile phone were the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in 1995 communicate.
However
, in 1996, around 1, 000
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millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minute
registered of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
via mobile phones. The trend of smartphone increased
considerably
after
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year
1996, and 9500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of minutes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recorded
in Finland of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who talked on mobile phones in 2004.
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IELTS academic The barchart shows the trend of telepohone calls in ginland in 2004

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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