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The pie charts give the information about the courses which were followed by the students in year 1984 1994 and 2004

The pie charts give the information about the courses which were followed by the students in year 1984 1994 and 2004 8djwm
The information about the courses followed by the students during different years such as 1984, 1994 and 2004 is depicted by rendered pie chats Declining from 67% to 54% from year 1984 to 1994, face to face courses decreased to 40% in 2004. In 1984, the percentage of mixed media courses and correspondence courses were 13% and 20%, while the mixed media percentage was escalated by 2% and correspondence courses remained same in year 1994 A slight downfall was observed in correspondence courses and it was reported to 15% in 2004 and media course was rosed to 35% in 2004. probing ahead, the percentage of online course followed by students in year 1994 was accounted by 11%, however, it slipped to mere 1% in 2004. Overall, it is vivid clear that all cources followed by students shows variation but new online course was added up in year 1994.
The information about the
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courses
followed by the students during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years such as 1984, 1994 and 2004
is depicted
by rendered pie chats

Declining from 67% to 54% from
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year
1984 to 1994, face to face
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courses
decreased to 40% in 2004. In 1984, the percentage of mixed media
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courses
and correspondence
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courses
were 13% and 20%, while the mixed media percentage
was escalated
by 2% and correspondence
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courses
remained same in
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year
1994

A slight downfall
was observed
in correspondence
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courses
and it
was reported
to 15% in 2004 and media
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course
was
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rosed
to 35% in 2004.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
probing
ahead, the percentage of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
followed by students in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1994
was accounted
by 11%,
however
, it slipped to mere 1% in 2004.

Overall
, it is vivid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that all
Possible spelling mistake found.
cources
followed by students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
variation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
new online
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course
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1994.
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IELTS academic The pie charts give the information about the courses which were followed by the students in year 1984 1994 and 2004

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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