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The bar short below shows the top 10 countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014

The bar chart illustrates the ten geographical area that use and produce the most electricity in 2014. Overall, it is noticeable that the greatest consumption and production of electricity was China. Surprisingly, Germany was the only country that consume more electricity than they produced. Focusing on the electric activities in China and United States, the data represents that China had the highest number of electricity used and produced compared to other areas worldwide, to be precise, 5398 billion kilowatt in production and 5322 billion kilo watt in consumption, which is surprisingly about 5 times more than the electricity used by Russian. United States came in second, electricity production in this country was just above 4000 billion kilowatt. However, the electricity consumption was slightly fewer, approximately 3800 billion kilowatt. Turning to the remaining countries, it is obvious that the third, forth and fifth place that consumed the most electricity was Russia, Japan and India, respectively. Interestingly, the amount of electricity used and created of the countries below the fifth places were quite close to each other, around 400 to 600 billion kilowatt. However, the difference that can be seen is in Germany, the electricity consumption was higher than the production.
The bar chart illustrates the ten geographical area that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and produce the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in 2014.
Overall
, it is noticeable that the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
was China.
Surprisingly
, Germany was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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country
that consume more
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electricity
than they produced.

Focusing on the electric activities in China and United States, the data represents that China had the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and produced compared to other areas worldwide, to be precise, 5398
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
Possible agreement error. The noun ‘kilowatt’ seems to be countable, so consider using: “kilowatts”.
kilowatt
in
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production
and 5322
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billion
This word is normally spelled as one.
kilo watt
in
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consumption
, which is
surprisingly
about 5 times more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by Russian. United States came in second,
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electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
in this
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country
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 4000
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billion
kilowatt.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
was
slightly
fewer, approximately 3800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kilowatt.

Turning to the remaining
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countries
, it is obvious that the third, forth and fifth place that consumed the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
was Russia, Japan and India,
respectively
.
Interestingly
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and created of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
below the fifth places were quite close to each other, around 400 to 600
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kilowatt.
However
, the difference that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
is in Germany, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
was higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
.
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IELTS academic The bar short below shows the top 10 countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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