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Some people believe that capital punishment should not be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The bar graph illustrates the number of girls per 100 boys who got enrolled in primary, secondary, and tertiary education in both the devoloped and under developing countries in the years 1990 and 1998. overall, number of girls who received tertiary education from developing country is very low compared to the education received by the girls from developed countries. Even the number of girls who received tertiary education outraced boys. Firtly, when we compare the number of girls who received primary education in both the years 1990 and 1998 there is a very slight variation of 4 in developing and developed countries. In contrast, considering the secondary education received by girls the figures varied significantly. It was 72 and 82 per 100 in developing and 98 and 99 in developed countries. By taking the tertiary education in to consideration, the number of girls who went to school in developed countries in both the years crossed the target and in developing countries the figures are least compared to primary and secondary education.
The bar graph illustrates the
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number
of
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girls
per 100 boys
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who
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got
enrolled in primary, secondary, and tertiary
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education
in both the
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devoloped
and under
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developing
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countries
in the years 1990 and 1998.

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overall
,
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number
of
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girls
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who
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received
tertiary
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education
from
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developing
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country
is
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very
low compared to the
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education
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received
by the
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girls
from
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developed
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countries
. Even the
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number
of
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girls
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who
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received
tertiary
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education
outraced boys.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Firtly
, when we compare the
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number
of
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girls
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who
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received
primary
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education
in both the years 1990 and 1998 there is a
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very
slight variation of 4 in
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developing
and
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developed
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countries
.
In contrast
, considering the secondary
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education
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received
by
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girls
the figures varied
significantly
. It was 72 and 82 per 100 in
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developing
and 98 and 99 in
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developed
countries.

By taking the tertiary
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education
in to consideration, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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girls
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who
went to school in
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developed
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countries
in both the years crossed the target and in
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developing
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countries
the figures are least compared to primary and secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS academic Some people believe that capital punishment should not be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some people believe that capital punishment should not be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.