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Global Hybrid Vehicle Sales from 2006 to 2009

The bar chart illustrates data about hybrid vehicle sales on the worldwide in year 2006 to 2009. In 2006 there were 360000 vehicles sales on the globally and United States was the market leader in that year they had brought just over 250000 and japan and rest of the world had the same market share about 50000 vehicles. America had been reaching the highest level of hybrid car usage in 2007 whereas japan and the other countries getting slight increment. After that US vehicle sales gradually declined over the period and mark approximately 290000 level in 2009. In conversely Japan got just under 100000 value in 2008 and increased drastically in year 2009 up to around 340000 level and become a market leader. At the mean time rest of the world had modest growth over the period. Overall, within that period hybrid vehicle sales increased more than doubled. Usage of vehicle dramatically increased in the Japan.
The bar chart illustrates data about hybrid
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vehicle
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sales
on the worldwide in year 2006 to 2009.

In 2006 there were 360000
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vehicles
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sales
on the globally and United States was the market leader in that year they had brought
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just
over 250000 and
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japan
and rest of the world had the same market share about 50000 vehicles.

America had been reaching the highest level of hybrid car usage in 2007 whereas
This noun needs to be capitalized if you mean the country “Japan”.
japan
and the other countries getting slight increment. After that US
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
gradually
declined over the period and mark approximately 290000 level in 2009. In
conversely
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Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 100000 value in 2008 and increased
drastically
in year 2009 up to around 340000 level and become a market leader. At the mean time rest of the world had modest growth over the period.

Overall
, within that period hybrid
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vehicle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
increased more than doubled. Usage of
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vehicle
dramatically
increased in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
.
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IELTS academic Global Hybrid Vehicle Sales from 2006 to 2009

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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