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The bar grpah gives the information about europea countries servise and comoditied money spend

The bar grpah gives the information about europea countries servise and comoditied money spend Jo5aD
The bar charts depict information about percentage of total payout by individuals on various services and commodities in European nation in 1998 and 2008. Overall, It is clear from the graph that people were interested to spent highest amount on Newspaper and eating out while, Expenses on electronic goods were similar in both years. It can be observed from the chart that in 1998, 16% expanded on newspaper wheras, It was increased by 4 percent in 2008. Although spending on both magazine and cinema service were 3% in 1998, it were decreased by 2% in 2008. However, Holiday service experienced a decline in spended rate throughout the periods. It was 8% in 1998 and 5% in 2008.
The bar charts depict information about percentage of total payout by individuals on various services and commodities in European nation in 1998 and 2008.

Overall
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were interested
to spent
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
amount on Newspaper and eating out while, Expenses on electronic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
were similar in both years.

It can
be observed
from the chart that in 1998, 16% expanded on newspaper
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheras
, It
was increased
by 4 percent in 2008. Although spending on both magazine and cinema service were 3% in 1998, it
were decreased
by 2% in 2008.

However
, Holiday service experienced a decline in
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "spent", the past tense form of the verb 'spend'?
spended
rate throughout the periods. It was 8% in 1998 and 5% in 2008.
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IELTS academic The bar grpah gives the information about europea countries servise and comoditied money spend

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
117 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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