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The bar graphs show the distribution of world's water.

The bar graphs show the distribution of world's water. pg2a
The provided bar charts illustrate information about the distribution of water, around the world, and the Total Earth's water is divided into three major groups and their subgroups. Overall, it is apperent from the charts, oceans have the biggest portion of world's water, besides this, galcier and ice caps contains the biggest percentile of fresh water. Whereas, ground ice and permafrost is the major source of surface water. It is quite vivid from the bar chart, oceans have the highest percentage of Total water (i. e 96. 5 percent). However, other saline water constitute 0. 9 percent of Total global water. Besides this, the available fresh water on the planet Earth account approximately 2. 5 percent of the total. The largest freshwater is obtained from the glaciers and icecaps (i. e 68. 7 percent), nevertheless this morning figure for ground water decrease to just 30. 1 percent of Total. Furthermore, surface and other freshwater sources contain only 1. 2 percentile of freshwater. It can be seen that, the statistics of ground ice and permafrost are 69 percent, in terms of having freshwater/surface water. On the contrary, this ratio for lakes dwindle down to around 21 percent, of Total surface water, which is further divided into subgroups.
The provided bar charts illustrate information about the distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, around the world, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Total
Earth's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is divided
into three major groups and their subgroups.

Overall
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
apperent
from the charts, oceans have the biggest portion of world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
,
besides
this,
Possible spelling mistake found.
galcier
and ice caps contains the biggest percentile of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Whereas, ground ice and permafrost is the major source of surface water.

It is quite vivid from the bar chart, oceans have the highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
(i. e 96. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent)
.
However
, other saline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
constitute 0. 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Total
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
Besides
this, the available fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
on the planet Earth account approximately 2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the total.

The largest freshwater
is obtained
from the glaciers and icecaps (i. e 68. 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent)
,
nevertheless
this morning figure for ground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
decrease to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
30. 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Total
.
Furthermore
, surface and other freshwater sources contain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1. 2
Possible agreement error. The noun 'percentile' seems to be countable, so consider using: "percentiles".
percentile
of freshwater.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, the statistics of ground ice and permafrost are 69
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, in terms of having freshwater/surface
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
On the contrary
, this ratio for lakes dwindle down to around 21
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Total
surface
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, which is
further
divided into subgroups.
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IELTS academic The bar graphs show the distribution of world's water.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
206 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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