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The bar graph shows the success rate of men and women passing in licence days from and one Asian country from 1980 to 2000

The bar graph shows the success rate of men and women passing in licence days from and one Asian country from 1980 to 2000 R0xd8
The bar graph gives us the information about the percentage of men and women pass the driving test in one Asian country between year 1980 to 2010. To begin, with in a 1980 the percentage of women passing the test was almost 50% which was more than men passing grade 30%. While in 1990 the success rate of men passing the licence test was increased to almost 40% and women remain the same. In2010 success rate was at the peak for both men and women with 70% and 50% respectively. However there was slightly decrease in women success rate in 2010 while man has able to maintain the passing with of 50% which was similar in 2000. ToConclude, we can say that more percentage of women is able to clear the exam than the men especially in the year 2000 where the success rate of passing the licence test for women is at the peak then the then the man
The bar graph gives us the information about the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
pass the driving
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test
in one Asian country between year 1980 to 2010. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, with in a 1980 the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
was almost 50% which was more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
grade 30%. While in 1990 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'licence' is British English.
licence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
was increased
to almost 40% and
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women
remain the same. In2010
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success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was at the peak for both
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men
and
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women
with 70% and 50%
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there was
slightly
decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in 2010 while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has able to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
with of 50% which was similar in 2000.
Possible spelling mistake found.
ToConclude
, we can say that more percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the exam than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
especially
in the year 2000 where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passing
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'licence' is British English.
licence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is at the peak
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "then the".
then the then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the success rate of men and women passing in licence days from and one Asian country from 1980 to 2000

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
159 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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