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The bar graph shows the sales of five items in two different countries

The bar graph shows the sales of five items in two different countries 30wJd
The information about the sales of five items such as pencils, pens, books, notebooks and paperboards in two nations namely Japan and Bazil. In overview, it can be apparently seen that although sales of books are showing up ward trend i Japan yet this is quite higher in Bazil. To commence withJapan, 85% sales of books are witnessing wheras this figure sightly went down by 23%in terms of sales of notebooks. on the other hand, the sales of paperboard is stand at 45%. Not only the sales of pens but also the pencils noticed at the nadir as appoximately 23%. Probing towards to Bazil, where the figure of paperboard witnessed at top point in contrast to Japan wher it was on surface(21%). wheras, pens are getting more popularity instead of pencils as it was67% and 56% in each case. 45%sales of notebooks are noticed.
The information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of five items such as pencils, pens, books, notebooks and
Possible spelling mistake found.
paperboards
in two nations
namely
Japan and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bazil
.

In overview, it can be
apparently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of books are showing up ward trend i Japan
yet
this is quite higher in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bazil
.

To commence
Possible spelling mistake found.
withJapan
, 85%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of books are witnessing
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheras
this figure
sightly
went down by 23%in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of notebooks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of paperboard is stand at 45%. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of pens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the pencils noticed at the nadir as
Possible spelling mistake found.
appoximately
23%.

Probing towards to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bazil
, where the figure of paperboard witnessed at top point
in contrast
to Japan
Possible spelling mistake found.
wher
it was on surface(21%).
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
wheras
, pens are getting more popularity
instead
of pencils as it was67% and 56% in each case.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
45%sales
of notebooks
are noticed
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the sales of five items in two different countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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