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The bar graph shows the percentage of Australian men and women participating in physical activities. Summarize and make relevant comparisons.

The bar graph shows the percentage of Australian men and women participating in physical activities. Summarize and make relevant comparisons. KWlL9
The bar graph below illustrates the percentage of Australian male and female population in various age categories who took part in regular physical activity in 2010. 6 categories have been formulated for on the basis of different age groups. At a first glance, we can observe that a high proportion of female population is consistently participating in physical activities, the only exception being the 15-24 age group. Around 42% of men and 48% of women belonging to the age group of 25-34 took part in physical activities. This gender divide further increases as only 39% of men compared to a humongous 52% of women are involved in physical activities in the 35-44 age group. In the age group 45-54, 43% men and 53% women are participants in physical activities. A similar scenario is existing in age group 55-64, where 45% men and 53% women take part in physical activities. However, the difference in participation between male and females among citizens above 65 is almost negligible. Overall, the proportion of total population with consistent participation in physical activities has remained fairly constant.
The bar graph below illustrates the percentage of Australian male and female population in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
categories who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in 2010. 6 categories have
been formulated
for on the basis of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. At a
first
glance, we can observe that a high proportion of female population is
consistently
participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exception being the 15-24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group.

Around 42% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and 48% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
belonging to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 25-34
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. This gender divide
further
increases as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
39% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
compared to a humongous 52% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in the 35-44
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
45-54, 43%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and 53%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are participants in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. A similar scenario is existing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
55-64, where 45%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and 53%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
However
, the difference in participation between male and females among citizens above 65 is almost negligible.
Overall
, the proportion of total population with consistent participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
has remained
fairly
constant.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the percentage of Australian men and women participating in physical activities. Summarize and make relevant comparisons.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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