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The graph below shows the way in which men and women used the Internet in Canada in 2000. Summarise the information making comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the way in which men and women used the Internet in Canada in 2000. KWlrk
The bar graph demonstrates the way in which men as well as women age group from 15 to 24 used the internet in Canada in 2000. To begin with, men used the internet. Firstly, into the year 2000, around 70 percent males used the internet for e-mail. Apart from this, 71 percent males used the internet for goods, and services. Further more, 50 percent men used the internet for chat rooms, 64 percent used for games, 28 percent used for online shopping. Lastly, 13 percent men used the internet for research and education. On the flip side, females used the internet in Canada. Firstly, 71 percent women used for e-mail, 61 percent used for goods, and services, 48 percent used for chat rooms, 58 percent used for games, 38 percent used for online shopping, and lastly, only 9 percent females used the internet for research, and education. To sum up, more females rather than males used the internet for e-mail as well as online shopping.
The bar graph demonstrates the way in which
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men
as well
as women age group from 15 to 24
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet in Canada in 2000.

To
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begin
with,
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men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet.
Firstly
, into the year 2000, around 70
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percent
males
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet for e-mail. Apart from this, 71
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percent
males
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, and services.
Further
more, 50
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percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet for chat rooms, 64
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percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for games, 28
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percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for online shopping.
Lastly
, 13
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percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet for research and education.

On the flip side, females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet in Canada.
Firstly
, 71
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percent
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for e-mail, 61
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percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, and services, 48
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percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for chat rooms, 58
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percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for games, 38
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percent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for online shopping, and
lastly
,
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only
9
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percent
females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet for research, and education.

To sum up, more females
rather
than males
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the internet for e-mail
as well
as online shopping.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the way in which men and women used the Internet in Canada in 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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