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The bar graph shows the Global sales of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph shows the Global sales of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006. 3b9Jd
The bar graph provides information about the worldwide sales of video games of four various types, namely mobile phone, online, console and handheld games from 2000 to 2006. The worldwide sales of handheld games experienced reached its peak in 2006 at 18 billions of dollars while sales of console games stood at 6 billions of dollars in 2000 then decreasing dramatically around 4 billions of dollars withing 4 years after that sales of console games a slight fluctuation in last three years. The online games and mobile phone games started in 2001 and 2002. respectively. the sales of online games was about 0. 5 billions of dollars which gradually inclined to approximately 10 billions of dollars till 2006. similarly mobile phone games had moderate growth from 2 billions of dollars in 2002 to slightly about 6 billions of dollars in last year.
The bar graph provides information about the worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
of four various types,
namely
mobile phone, online, console and handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
from 2000 to 2006.

The worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
experienced reached its peak in 2006 at 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
stood at 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in 2000 then decreasing
dramatically
around 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
withing 4 years after that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
a slight fluctuation in last three years.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in 2001 and 2002.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
respectively
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
was about 0. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
which
gradually
inclined to approximately 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
till 2006.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
similarly
mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
had moderate growth from 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in 2002 to
slightly
about 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in last year.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the Global sales of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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