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respect elders and family relationship

respect elders and family relationship x8Eyy
There is not a big difference between their cultures and mine, on the other hand, there are some similarities, so let summarize them as follows: First thing at the age of 18, everyone find some difficuiclties to find a work and study at the same time, because we study full time here in Morocco, so it's very hard to combine between study and work. Therefore, we find ourselves mandotory to rely on our parents so as to finance our needs. About the second subject, I think we also in Morocco respect elders and we kiss their hands and forehead and we respect them very much and we love them. So about family relationship I speak about my own experience my family is very coherent and every day we meet on the table and we eat together and we discuss family's stuff we help each other if someone has a problem, so we try to figure out and we help him so I think it's very important to discuss with your family to tell them what problem you faced with and I'm sure they will help you to figure out and solve your problem so I think more than that ISLAM necessite to respect elders and respect your family even you leave them and you live with your own small family you must visit your parents and discuss to them in order to have a bless for them that's all.
There is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference between their cultures and mine,
on the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
similarities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
summarize them as follows:

First
thing at the age of 18, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "finds", "found".
find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
difficuiclties
to find a work and study at the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we study full time here in Morocco,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to combine between study and work.
Therefore
, we find ourselves
Possible spelling mistake found.
mandotory
to rely on our parents
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
finance our needs.

About the second subject, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we
also
in Morocco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
elders and
we kiss their hands and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
forehead and
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
much and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship I speak about my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
coherent and every day we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
table and
we eat
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
together and
we discuss family's stuff we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other if someone has a problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we try to figure
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
out and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to discuss with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them what problem you faced with and I'm sure they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to figure out and solve your problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more than that ISLAM
Possible spelling mistake found.
necessite
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
elders and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
even you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them and you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
visit your parents and discuss to them in order to have
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'bless' is correct. If 'bless' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a bless
for them that's all.
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IELTS academic respect elders and family relationship

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
239 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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