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The bar graph shows the amount of hours spent by teenagers doing certain activities in Chelsea between 2002 and 2007.

The bar graph shows the amount of hours spent by teenagers doing certain activities in Chelsea between 2002 and 2007. BYJJa
The bar chart illustrates the total time spent by teenagers doing 7 activities in a week in Chester over the course of 6 years (2002 to 2007). Overall, the proportion of hours watching television throughout all the years was by far the greatest; however, other activities such as bowling consistently accounted for the least hour times. The hours spent on other pastimes fluctuated as time passed by throughout the given period. Certain technology-based activities such as watching television, had a stable level of 25 hours for 2 years before facing a gradual increase and peaking at abut 37 hours in 2007. Whereas interests such as clubbing and shopping faced repeating surges and plateaus; provided that they started at 7 and 6 hours respectively, the figures eventually even out at 12 hours for clubbing in 2004 until 2006 and at 11 hours for shopping for the same time frame. There was a significant jump in hours spent, from 12 to 17, at clubs between 2006 and 2007. Yet, going to the mall reaches a maximum of 15 hours in the final year. On the other hand, the remaining activities started off well with a median of 9. 5 hours but faced a steady slope of decline where they all eventually measure about 10 hours or less.
The bar chart illustrates the total
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time
spent by
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teenagers
doing 7
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activities
in a week in Chester over the course of 6 years (2002 to 2007).

Overall
, the proportion of
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hours
watching television throughout all the years was by far the greatest;
however
, other
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activities
such as bowling
consistently
accounted for the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
spent on other pastimes fluctuated as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passed by throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

Certain technology-based
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activities
such as watching television, had a stable level of 25
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hours
for 2 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
facing a gradual increase and peaking at abut 37
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hours
in 2007. Whereas interests such as clubbing and shopping faced repeating surges and plateaus; provided that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 7 and 6
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hours
respectively
, the figures
eventually
even out at 12
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hours
for clubbing in 2004 until 2006 and at 11
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hours
for shopping for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
frame. There was a significant jump in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
spent, from 12 to 17, at clubs between 2006 and 2007.
Yet
, going to the mall reaches a maximum of 15
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hours
in the final year.

On the other hand
, the remaining
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activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
off well with a median of 9. 5
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hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
faced a steady slope of decline where they all
eventually
measure about 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
or less.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the amount of hours spent by teenagers doing certain activities in Chelsea between 2002 and 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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