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The bar graph outlines the forcasted trade of denims in turkey by two different industries.

The bar graph outlines the forcasted trade of denims in turkey by two different industries. Along with the pie chart and table presenting market portion of firms in jeans at the year end. Overall, Jack & Jones co. is ruling almost of the time but after six month Mango Co. sales exceed from jack and Jones for 2 months. Starting from jack and Jones co, Sales is projected above 400 thousands of pairs in first month. Where, mango co. would sale just nearly 1, 50, 000 pairs in same month. Moreover, from second month after a rapid drop there is a significant rise in trade till june in which, jack and Jones co. sales is estimated 250 thousands pairs in February and around 400 in June. On the other hand, mango co. trade exceeds jock and Jones co. in July and August by approximately 50 and 100 thousands of pairs respectively. Furthermore, Jack and Jones co. trade is gradually rising from september to december and it hit the peak by vending 900, 000 pairs in last month where, Mango co. remains stable by trading nearly 500, 000 pairs from september to November, with addition of 100 thousands of pairs in last month. Lastly, moving towards market share, Jack and Jones co. share 30% of market and Mango co. share 10% less than that of Jack and Jones co. Whereas, 50% is shared by others.
The bar graph outlines the
Possible spelling mistake found.
forcasted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
of denims in
Did you mean the country “Turkey” (which needs to be capitalized)?
turkey
by two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
industries. Along with the pie chart and table presenting market portion of firms in jeans at the year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
Overall
, Jack &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
co. is ruling almost of the time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
Mango Co.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
exceed from jack and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
for 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
. Starting from jack and
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Jones
co,
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Sales
is projected
above
Use a singular form of the numeral here: “400 thousand”.
400 thousands of
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pairs
in
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
. Where, mango co. would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
nearly
1, 50, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pairs
in same
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month
.
Moreover
, from second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
after a rapid drop there is a significant rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
till
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
in which, jack and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
co.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
is estimated
250 thousands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pairs
in February and around 400 in June.
On the other hand
, mango co.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
exceeds jock and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
co. in July and August by approximately 50 and
Use a singular form of the numeral here: “100 thousand”.
100 thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pairs
respectively
.
Furthermore
, Jack and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
co.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
is
gradually
rising from
Possible spelling mistake found.
september
to
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
december and
it hit the peak by vending 900, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pairs
in last
It is better to use ‘month’ with the time-relative pronoun ‘when’: “month when”. (Alternatively, use ‘in/on which’)
month where
, Mango co. remains stable by trading
nearly
500, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pairs
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
september
to November, with addition of
Use a singular form of the numeral here: “100 thousand”.
100 thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pairs
in last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
.
Lastly
, moving towards market share, Jack and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
co. share 30% of market and Mango co. share 10% less than that of Jack and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jones
co.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, 50%
is shared
by others.
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IELTS academic The bar graph outlines the forcasted trade of denims in turkey by two different industries.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
234 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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