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The bar graph illustrates the number of trips made by children in a particular country in 1990 and 2010 using different modes of transport.

The bar graph illustrates the number of trips made by children in a particular country in 1990 and 2010 using different modes of transport. r6NVp
The bar graph illustrates the comparison between the years 1990 and 2010 for children aged 5-12 making trips to and from school using several transport modes in the same country. Between the two decades the trend is such that walking, cycling, and taking the bus have decreased substantially as the choice for going to school and returning home; meanwhile, when travelling with the car in 1990 was the least used mode of transport, most children started going to school by car in 2010. In 1990, about 12. 5 million trips to school and back home were by walking, slightly above 6 million by cycling, almost 6 million trips included children walking some of the way and taking the bus for the rest of the trip, while 7 million trips were taken on buses. Only about 4. 5 million trips were taken by car. 2010 saw a decline in all modes of transport and an increase in traveling by car, with almost half the amount (6 million) of trips taken by walking, 2 million taken by cycling, 3 million taken by both walking and taking the bus, and 5 million by taking the bus. 11 million trips, on the other hand, were taken by car in 2010.
The bar graph illustrates the comparison between the years 1990 and 2010 for children aged 5-12 making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
to and from
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school
using several transport modes in the same country.

Between the two decades the trend is such that walking, cycling, and taking the bus have decreased
substantially
as the choice for going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and returning home; meanwhile, when travelling with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
in 1990 was the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
mode of transport, most children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
going to
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school
by
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car
in 2010.

In 1990, about 12. 5
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
to
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school
and back home were by walking,
slightly
above 6
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million
by cycling, almost 6
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
included children walking
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
way and taking the bus for the rest of the
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trip
, while 7
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
were taken
on buses.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
about 4. 5
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
were taken
by
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car. 2010
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a decline in all modes of transport and an increase in traveling by
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car
, with almost half the amount (6
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million)
of
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trips
taken by walking, 2
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million
taken by cycling, 3
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million
taken by both walking and taking the bus, and 5
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million
by taking the bus. 11
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
,
on the other hand
,
were taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
in 2010.
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IELTS academic The bar graph illustrates the number of trips made by children in a particular country in 1990 and 2010 using different modes of transport.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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