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The bar graph illustrates, regular physical activities done by Australian citizens in six different age groups in the year 2010.

The bar graph illustrates, regular physical activities done by Australian citizens in six different age groups in the year 2010. kY6AO
The bar graph illustrates, regular physical activities done by Australian citizens in six different age groups in the year 2010. Overall, teenagers in Australia, ages 15 to 24 are highly involved in physical exercises. Boys by 52. 8% whereas, girls by 47. 7%. However, in the young adult’s age category that is 25 to 34, males are less active than females. 42. 2% with him and 48. 9% with her. As the age group goes above the involvement of males drop and females are rose. In the year 2010, in the age category of 35 to 44, men’s proportion was less, it was around 39. 5% compared to women’s proportion it was around 52. 5%. Between the age group of 45 to 64, there was a gentle rise in the percentage of both, male and female. Finally, the citizen’s involvement of age 65 and over were almost the same by 47% approximatel
The bar graph illustrates, regular physical activities done by Australian citizens in six
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different
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age
groups in the year 2010.

Overall
,
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teenagers
in Australia,
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ages
15 to 24 are
highly
involved in physical exercises. Boys by 52. 8% whereas, girls by 47. 7%.
However
, in the young adult’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
category
that is
25 to 34, males are less active than females. 42. 2% with him and 48. 9% with her. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group goes above the involvement of males drop and females are rose. In the year 2010, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
category of 35 to 44,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s proportion was less, it was around 39. 5% compared to women’s proportion it was around 52. 5%.

Between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group of 45 to 64, there was a gentle rise in the percentage of both, male and female.
Finally
, the citizen’s involvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
65 and over were almost the same by 47%
Possible spelling mistake found.
approximatel
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IELTS academic The bar graph illustrates, regular physical activities done by Australian citizens in six different age groups in the year 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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