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The bar graph gives information about the number of guests visiting hotels in different places of the world in 1

The bar graph gives information about the number of guests visiting hotels in different places of the world in 1 eA5r7
The bar chart outlines the comparative analysis regarding the number of males and females at hotels of countries such as: Irish, British, Mainland European and Rest of World. Overall, the percentage of female hotel guests is higher than that of male guests in many countries of the world, except the Irish which has a lot of male guests at hotel while in Mainland European, the rate of both men and women in hotels is equal. According to recorded information, the ratio of male and female in Irish is above 6 while in British only females are higher and the same to male in British, by 10. That shows the gender imbalance in this country. Besides, in continental Europe, the ratio of men and women at hotels is equal to two, which shows that there is not too much difference here. In contrast, in the rest of the world, the difference is not too much, about 5 and 7 respectively
The bar chart outlines the comparative analysis regarding the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotels
of countries such as: Irish, British, Mainland European and Rest of World.

Overall
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
guests is higher than that of male guests in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries of the world, except the Irish which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
male guests at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
while in Mainland European, the rate of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotels
is equal.

According to recorded information, the ratio of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
in Irish is above 6 while in British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are higher and the same to male in British, by 10. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the gender imbalance in this country.

Besides
, in continental Europe, the ratio of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotels
is equal to two, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that there is not too much difference here.
In contrast
, in the rest of the world, the difference is not too much, about 5 and 7
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
respectively
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IELTS academic The bar graph gives information about the number of guests visiting hotels in different places of the world in 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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