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the bar graph gives information about the number of car journeys

the bar graph gives information about the number of car journeys 86X8w
The bar graph compares the variation in average number of car-journey per day into city center made by residents and non-residents. On the one hand, during 1996 to 1999, the number of residents people experienced a constant flow above 9000 journes per day. In addition, it showed a dramatic decrease from about 9000 journes to 5000 journey in year 2000. Moreover, from 2000 to 2001 it fell down from 5000 to 4000 journes per day after the residence showed a marginal increase from 5000 journes per day again. Lastly, in between 2003 and 2005, the local residents fluctuated around 4000 journes per day. On the other hand, from 1996 to 1999, the non residents people increased stedily from about 5000 to 8000 journes per day. In addition, after 1999 to 2002 non-residents people showed a constant flow around 8000 journes per day. Moreover, in between 2002 and 2003 non residents people fall dramatically from 8000 journes to 3000 jouney in oney year. Lastly, it experienced a marginal inccease from 3000 to 5000 journes from last 3 years. Overall, in first four years local people journes per day increased more while after five years non residents people journes were more then local people.
The bar graph compares the variation in average number of car-journey per day into city center made by
residents
and non-residents.

On the one hand, during 1996 to 1999, the number of
residents
people
experienced a constant flow above 9000
journes
per day.
In addition
, it
showed
a dramatic decrease from about 9000
journes
to 5000
journey
in
year
2000.
Moreover
, from 2000 to 2001 it fell down from 5000 to 4000
journes
per day after the residence
showed
a marginal increase from 5000
journes
per day again.
Lastly
, in between 2003 and 2005, the local
residents
fluctuated around 4000
journes
per day.

On the other hand
, from 1996 to 1999, the non
residents
people
increased
stedily
from about 5000 to 8000
journes
per day.
In addition
, after 1999 to 2002 non-residents
people
showed
a constant flow around 8000
journes
per day.
Moreover
, in between 2002 and 2003 non
residents
people
fall
dramatically
from 8000
journes
to 3000
jouney
in
oney
year
.
Lastly
, it experienced a marginal
inccease
from 3000 to 5000
journes
from last 3 years.

Overall
, in
first
four years local
people
journes
per day increased more while after five years non
residents
people
journes
were more
then
local
people
.
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IELTS academic the bar graph gives information about the number of car journeys

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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