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The bar graph give the information about the number of computer ownership by education level in two different years.

The bar graph give the information about the number of computer ownership by education level in two different years. kWmk8
The bar chart gives information about the proportion of computer owned by five levels of education in two different years (2002 and 2010). Overall, the percentage of ownership of computer was inclined continuously in all the level of education from 2002 to 2010. In no high school diploma the percentum of computer ownership was around 30 in 2002 which went upto to 40 in the next eight year. The percentage of computer owned by High school graduate increased to near about 70 in 2010 which was slightly above 40 in 2002. The College owned more than 50 percent of computer in 2002 and in the next eight year the percentage experienced a great rise, it was slightly below 90. On the other hand, there was not a great difference between the percentage of computer owned by Bachelor's degree and Postgraduate qualification. Most of the computer was owned in these two education level. In 2002 Bachelor's degree proportion for owing computer was near about 70 which was increased by almost 20 percent in the year 2010. Postgraduate qualification percent to own computer in 2002 was below just 80 and it experienced a rise in the ownership by almost 20 percent.
The bar chart gives information about the proportion of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
by five levels of education in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years (2002 and 2010).

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of ownership of computer
was inclined
continuously
in all the level of education from 2002 to 2010.

In no high school diploma the
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentum
of computer ownership was around 30 in 2002 which went
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
to 40 in the
next
eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
by High school graduate increased to near about 70 in 2010 which was
slightly
above 40 in 2002. The College
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
more than 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of computer in 2002 and in the
next
eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
experienced a great rise, it was
slightly
below 90.

On the other hand
, there was not a great difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
by Bachelor's degree and Postgraduate qualification. Most of the computer was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
in these two education level. In 2002 Bachelor's degree proportion for owing computer was near about 70 which
was increased
by almost 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010. Postgraduate qualification
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
computer in 2002 was below
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
80 and it experienced a rise in the ownership by almost 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph give the information about the number of computer ownership by education level in two different years.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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