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The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obsess in one country, every ten years between 1965 to 2015.

The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obsess in one country, every ten years between 1965 to 2015. eA6OO
The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obsess in one country, every ten years between 1965 to 2015. the first increase was during 1975 however it was just a little over around 1-2%. According to the bar chart between 1985 to 1995 the number was suddenly increased around 60% as we can see the last number was stable from 1975 to 1985. The bar chart ended in 2015 and the pie chart confirmed the percentage weight range of adults which population in2015, according to the data of the pie chart around 80% of adults has unhealthy weight, special 6% of them severely obsessed. The most percent of adults were obsessed which included 34% of adults in 2015.
The bar
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the percentage of
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adults
who were overweight or obsess in one country, every ten years
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1965 and 2015".
between 1965 to 2015
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
first
increase was during 1975
however
it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
over around 1-2%. According to the bar
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chart
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1985 and 1995".
between 1985 to 1995
the number was
suddenly
increased around 60% as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the last number was stable from 1975 to 1985.

The bar
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chart
ended in 2015 and the pie
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chart
confirmed the percentage weight range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
which population in2015, according to the data of the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
around 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
has unhealthy weight, special 6% of them
severely
obsessed. The most percent of
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adults
were obsessed
which included 34% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
in 2015.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the percentage of adults who were overweight or obsess in one country, every ten years between 1965 to 2015.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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