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The bar graph depicts the most popular units sold by two bakeries in london in 2010.

The bar graph depicts the most popular units sold by two bakeries in london in 2010. VBVjO
This bar graph compares the most popular items sold by two bakeries in London on a typical Saturday in 2010. The graph shows average sales of eight items, including cakes, rolls and toasted sandwiches, in Bernie's Buns and Lovely Loaves. Overall, it can be seen that Bernie's Buns is generally the busiest bakery, outselling Lovely Loaves in six out of eight items. On the whole, savoury foods such as toasted sandwiches, salads and rolls are not as popular as sweet item like cakes and cookies. In terms of sales at Bernie's Buns, doughnuts come top of the list, with an average of around 135 sold on a Saturday. Cookies and cakes are the next best sellers, with around 115 and 100 of these snacks sold respectively. Doughnuts are also the number-one purchase in Lovely Loaves, with just over 120 sold on a Saturday. Cookies are third, at around 65 sales. Salads come next, with just over 60, three times as many as are sold in Bernie's Buns. Rolls and fresh loaves are joint fifth, with 50 sales apiece, followed by crisps at approximately 45. The least popular item in Lovely Loaves is toasted sandwiches, with around 25 sales.
This bar graph compares the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
sold by two bakeries in London on a typical Saturday in 2010. The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
average
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sales
of eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, including cakes, rolls and toasted sandwiches, in Bernie's
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Buns
and
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Lovely
Loaves.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Bernie's
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Buns
is
generally
the busiest bakery, outselling
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Lovely
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Loaves
in six out of eight
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items
.
On the whole
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'savoury' is British English.
savoury
foods such as toasted sandwiches, salads and rolls are not as popular as sweet
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item
like cakes and cookies. In terms of
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sales
at Bernie's
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Buns
, doughnuts
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come
top of the list, with an average of
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around
135 sold on a Saturday. Cookies and cakes are the
next
This word is normally spelled as one.
best sellers
, with
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around
115 and 100 of these snacks sold
respectively
.

Doughnuts are
also
the number-one
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purchase
in
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Lovely
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Loaves
, with
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just
over 120 sold on a Saturday. Cookies are third, at
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around
65
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sales
. Salads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
next
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 60, three times as
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many
as
are sold
in Bernie's
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Buns
. Rolls and fresh
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loaves
are joint fifth, with 50
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sales
apiece, followed by crisps at approximately 45. The least popular
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item
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Lovely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Loaves
is toasted
sandwiches, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph depicts the most popular units sold by two bakeries in london in 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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