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The bar graph demonstrates the percentage of the most common sports played in the UK throughout the examined year.

The bar graph demonstrates the percentage of the most common sports played in the UK throughout the examined year. MqeGo
The bar graph demonstrates the percentage of the most common sports played in the UK throughout the examined year. As it is observed, the figure for women netball players was a big difference compared to men. The opposite was true for the soccer players in a examined year. As can be seen from the chart, the proportion of male chose soccer was 21% people which was almost 4 times as much as female players in 2010. The figure of other sport male players also more than female a half. Also, the proportion of male player chose cricket was 10% figure and was a big difference compared to female by 8% figure. By constrast, netball was a most popular choose of women players at 25 percentage when men player was just 2% percentage. The percentage of swimming female also more than male by 22% and 14% figure respectively. The figures for tennis and basketball nearly equal at about 7%. Jogging was the least chosen sport just at 3% in a examened year.
The bar graph demonstrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the most common sports played in the UK throughout the examined year.

As it
is observed
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for women netball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. The opposite was true for the soccer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
examined year.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, the proportion of male chose soccer was 21%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which was almost 4 times as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in 2010. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of other sport male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
also
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
a half.
Also
, the proportion of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
chose cricket was 10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
and was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
by 8% figure.

By
Possible spelling mistake found.
constrast
, netball was a most popular choose of women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
at 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
2%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of swimming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
also
more than male by 22% and 14%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
respectively
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for tennis and basketball
nearly
equal at about 7%. Jogging was the least chosen sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
at 3% in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
examened
year.
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IELTS academic The bar graph demonstrates the percentage of the most common sports played in the UK throughout the examined year.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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