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The bar graph below shows the fertility rate in gulf countries between 1990 and 2000

The bar graph below shows the fertility rate in gulf countries between 1990 and 2000 W8WDK
The given horizontal bar chart illustrates the information about fertility rate per women in six different countries from 1990 to 2000. To begin with, as it is clearly seen from bar graph, in 1900, there was significant natility rate per women in Oman that was 7, whereas, next noticeable birth count was nearly 7 in S. Arabia. Furthermore, the fertility rate was similar in Oman and S. Arabia in 2000 that was 5. 5. However, the birth rate in Qatar was approximately 4. 5in 1999 and this figure was declined to 3. 5 in 2000. Moving forward, there aws least rate of fertility per women in Bahrain and Kuwait that was near about 3. 5 in 1900 and 2. 5 in 2000. Moreover, in UAE, the birth rate per female was 4 in 1900 and this count was decreased to 3 in 2000. Overall, in Oman and S. Arabia, there was highest count of birth rate per women, even, the lowest fertility rate was present in Bahrain and Kuwait.
The
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given
horizontal bar chart illustrates the information about
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fertility
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rate
per
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women
in six
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different
countries from 1990 to 2000.

To
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begin
with, as it is
clearly
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seen
from bar graph, in 1900, there was significant
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natility
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rate
per
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women
in Oman that was 7, whereas,
next
noticeable
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birth
count was
nearly
7 in S. Arabia.
Furthermore
, the
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fertility
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rate
was similar in Oman and S. Arabia in 2000 that was 5. 5.
However
, the
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birth
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rate
in Qatar was approximately 4. 5in 1999 and this figure
was declined
to 3. 5 in 2000.

Moving forward, there
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aws
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
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rate
of
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fertility
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in Bahrain and Kuwait that was near about 3. 5 in 1900 and 2. 5 in 2000.
Moreover
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the UAE".
in UAE
, the
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birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
per female was 4 in 1900 and this count
was decreased
to 3 in 2000.

Overall
, in Oman and S. Arabia, there was
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highest
count of
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birth
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rate
per
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women
, even, the lowest
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fertility
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rate
was present in Bahrain and Kuwait.
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IELTS academic The bar graph below shows the fertility rate in gulf countries between 1990 and 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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