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The bar graph below shows components contribution in uk from 1992 to 2000

The bar graph below shows components contribution in uk from 1992 to 2000 JlaWa
The assigned pillar graph elucidates the information about two specific industries IT and service which contributed to economy of United kingdom between 1992 and 2000. To begin with, in year 1992 information technology made up around 6%of Uk wealth whereas, in 1994 and 1996 ratio was almost similar with 8 %. The figure touch mark at 14% from 12% in 1998. Shifting to remaining data, with regards to services industry just 4%contribution in 1992 and ratio approximately double after year periods. In year 1998 and 2000 percentage of services were 7 %and8% respectively. To cap it all, it is quite apparent that both components experienced increasing trend while, IT sector remained highest throughout the given period of time.
The assigned pillar graph elucidates the information about two specific industries IT and service which contributed to economy of
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
United kingdom
between 1992 and 2000. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in year 1992 information technology made up around 6%of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
wealth whereas, in 1994 and 1996 ratio was almost similar with 8 %. The figure touch mark at 14% from 12% in 1998. Shifting to remaining data,
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "service".
services
industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
4%contribution in 1992 and ratio approximately double after year periods. In year 1998 and 2000 percentage of services were 7 %and8%
respectively
. To cap it all, it is quite apparent that both components experienced increasing trend while, IT sector remained
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time.
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IELTS academic The bar graph below shows components contribution in uk from 1992 to 2000

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
118 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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