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The bar graph and line graph place with the data about amount of money spent by Britishers on junk food and consumption of fast food

The bar graph and line graph place with the data about amount of money spent by Britishers on junk food and consumption of fast food KGKrR
The provided bar graph and I am graph illustrate the data about amount of money, Spent by britisher around junk food and line graph reveal the consumption of fast food. To initiate with, it has been seen that the high income britisher expanded most of the money by purchasing hamburgers per week. Moving further, they spent approximately 15 pence on fish and chips. High wages person utilise their money in pizza. Moreover the mediator utilise their money in hamburgers instead of others. The medium vages person expend low money on pizzas. The low income person was neglected to pizza and they spend their money on fish and chips. On the other hand, in 1970, individual was consumed less pizza but after some years they eat pizza approximately 200 grammes. Moreover, individual consume 300grammes pizza in 1970 but in 1978, there is slightly decrease is shown. People mostly like to eat hamburgers so they consume hamburger 500 grammes more. Overall, In the both graphs, Britishers spend their money on hamburgers and also consume more hamburgers as compare to other.
The provided bar
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
graph and
I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
illustrate the data about amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, Spent by
Possible spelling mistake found.
britisher
around junk food and line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
reveal the consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.

To initiate with, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the high income
Possible spelling mistake found.
britisher
expanded most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by purchasing hamburgers per week. Moving
further
, they spent approximately 15 pence on fish and chips. High wages person
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in pizza.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the mediator
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in hamburgers
instead
of others. The medium
Possible spelling mistake found.
vages
person expend low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on pizzas. The low income person
was neglected
to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pizza and
they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on fish and chips.

On the other hand
, in 1970, individual
was consumed
less pizza
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years they eat pizza approximately 200
Possible spelling mistake. 'grammes' is British English.
grammes
.
Moreover
, individual consume 300grammes pizza in 1970
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 1978, there is
slightly
decrease
is shown
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
mostly
like to eat hamburgers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they consume hamburger 500
Possible spelling mistake. 'grammes' is British English.
grammes
more.

Overall
, In the both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graphs
, Britishers spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on hamburgers and
also
consume more hamburgers as compare to other.
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IELTS academic The bar graph and line graph place with the data about amount of money spent by Britishers on junk food and consumption of fast food

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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