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The bar diagram shows the transport preferences among young people.

The bar diagram shows the transport preferences among young people. j81N8
The bar diagram illustrates the proportion of young pupils of four different nations who have transport preferences in terms of car, motorcycle and bicycle in a year. Overall, it is apparent from the chart that all the country except France show the highest number of teenagers preferring car among three moded of transportation, whereas To commence with car and motorcycle, 60% of UK citizens are interested in using cars which is more than the ratio of masses in Italy by a little over 10%. Similarly, the US accounted for the same percentage (60%). The lowest figure can be seen for France with only less than the two quarters that is 40%. Focusing on the motorcycle, the UK, France and Italy are accounted for the equal percentage (10%). However, France is the only country with large majority of people using motorcycles. Regarding with the bicycle, just over 40 % of adolescents are keen to travel by bicycle which is 3 times higher than the US and Italy.
The bar diagram illustrates the proportion of young pupils of four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations who have transport preferences in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, motorcycle and bicycle in a year.

Overall
, it is apparent from the chart that all the country except France
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the highest number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
among three
Possible spelling mistake found.
moded
of transportation, whereas

To commence with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and motorcycle, 60% of UK citizens
are interested
in using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which is more than the ratio of masses in Italy by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
over 10%.
Similarly
, the US accounted for the same percentage (60%). The lowest figure can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for France with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
less than the two quarters
that is
40%. Focusing on the motorcycle, the UK, France and Italy
are accounted
for the equal percentage (10%).
However
, France is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
country with
It seems that an article is missing.
large majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using motorcycles.

Regarding with the bicycle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 40 % of adolescents are keen to travel by bicycle which is 3 times higher than the US and Italy.
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IELTS academic The bar diagram shows the transport preferences among young people.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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