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The bar charts illustrate the kids’ watching television habits in Australia between boys and girls.

The bar charts illustrate the kids’ watching television habits in Australia between boys and girls. DYjp7
The bar charts illustrate the kids’ watching television habits in Australia between boys and girls. It is apparently observed that most children used TV from 1 to 5 hours on a school day and they stopped watching from 7: 30 to 9: 30 p. m. Noticeably, both girls and boys had the same number of hours spent watching TV. In detail, a minority of kids did not watch tv. 20 percent of girls used television less than 1 hour, followed by boys with 15 percent. Moreover, 1 to 5 hours is the most popular number of using TV in both girls and boys. In addition, 15 percent of girls spent 5 to 9 hours watching. In contrast, the quantity of boys took up 20 percent. Besides, there was a similarity in the number of boys and girls who used tv more than 9 hours. Additionally, the period from 7: 30 to 9: 30 p. m was the most appealing time to watch TV for Australia's kids. Although almost 60 percent of girls watched TV at this time, the quantity of boys made up 50 percent. The percentage of girls using TV from 9: 30 to 11 p. m was 35 in spite of 40 percent of boys. By contrast, 15 percent of girls and 17 percent of boys who watch Tv after 11 p. m. Strikingly, the disparity of boys and girls most of the time was 5 percent.
The bar charts illustrate the kids’ watching television habits in Australia between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and girls.

It is
apparently
observed that most children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
TV from 1 to 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on a school
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
day and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
watching from 7: 30 to 9: 30 p. m.
Noticeably
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
had the same number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
spent watching TV.

In detail, a minority of kids did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
. 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
television less than 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
, followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
with 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Moreover
, 1 to 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is the most popular number of using TV in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
.
In addition
, 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
spent 5 to 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
watching.
In contrast
, the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
took up 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Besides
, there was a similarity in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
more than 9 hours.

Additionally
, the period from 7: 30 to 9: 30 p. m was the most appealing time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV for Australia's kids. Although almost 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
TV at this time, the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
made up 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
using TV from 9: 30 to 11 p. m was 35
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
. By contrast, 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and 17
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
after 11 p. m.
Strikingly
, the disparity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
most of the time was 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
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IELTS academic The bar charts illustrate the kids’ watching television habits in Australia between boys and girls.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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