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Information about weather in two brazilian cities.

Information about weather in two brazilian cities. RwpPG
The graphs show the differences between Brasilia and Recife in terms of rainfall and temperature. Data are given for one-year period defining the average mm per month and the average daily high/low temperature. Furthermore, for each month there is a count of the hours with light and the number of days with storms. Overall, it can be seen that the two cities experienced an opposite trend related to the months with rain while the highest degree achieved is nearly 40 for both the places, then in Recife temperature never reach degrees under 15 whereas Brasilia presents as lowest data the zero. To be specific, considering information about rainfall in Brasilia the average mm decrease from January to June from 210 to 20 respectively. During the same period in Recife there is a slighter increase from 120 to the double. Meanwhile after june the rate starts to rise dramatically for the first city and to fall for the second. Coming to temperature, we can see that the average temperature presents lower dagrees during the middle months in particular June is the colder one. Moreover, in Recife data are quite similar (from 20 to just under 40) while in Brasilia there is an higher dispersion.
The graphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the differences between
'Brasilia' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Brasília"
Brasilia
and Recife in terms of rainfall and
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temperature
. Data are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for one-year period defining the
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average
mm per
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month
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
daily high/low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
.
Furthermore
, for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
there is a count of the hours with light and the number of days with storms.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the two cities experienced an opposite trend related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
with rain while the highest degree achieved is
nearly
40 for both the places, then in Recife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
never reach degrees under 15 whereas
'Brasilia' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Brasília"
Brasilia
presents as lowest data the zero.

To be specific, considering information about rainfall in
'Brasilia' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Brasília"
Brasilia
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
mm decrease from January to June from 210 to 20
respectively
. During the same period in Recife there is a slighter increase from 120 to the double.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
after
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
the rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to rise
dramatically
for the
first
city and to fall for the second.

Coming to
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temperature
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
presents lower
Possible spelling mistake found.
dagrees
during the middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
in particular
June is the colder one.
Moreover
, in Recife data are quite similar (from 20 to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 40) while in
'Brasilia' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Brasília"
Brasilia
there is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
higher dispersion.
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IELTS academic Information about weather in two brazilian cities.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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