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California employment sector

California employment sector XydXO
The table illustrates the rate of workers in seven economic sectors in California in 2010 and its expected proportion in 2030. In general, the data of three sectors including health, services and information technology are projected to increase. In contrast, there will be a decline in government, manufacturing/agriculture, low wage sectors. Meanwhile, the business sector rate is expected to remain the same. The health sector is forecasted to witness a rise from 12% in 2010 to 23% in 2030 and it will become the most popular sector for California employees. Similarly, from 2010 to 2030, there is a projection that services and information technology will increase gradually from 17% to 20% and 8% to 10%, respectively. By contrast, the low wage sector (retail and fast food), which had the highest percentage of employment, is anticipated to decrease from 24% to 16% over 30 years. Regarding the government sector, it is set to drop from 18% to 14%. Likewise, the employment rate in the manufacturing/agriculture sector is predicted to remain the lowest figure. It accounted for 8% in 2010 and will decrease to 4% in 2030. Finally, there is a prediction that there will be no change in the proportion of business/administration sector, it will remain at 13%.
The table illustrates the rate of workers in seven economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in California in 2010 and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
proportion in 2030.
In general
, the data of three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
including health, services and information technology
are projected
to increase.
In contrast
, there will be a decline in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, manufacturing/agriculture, low wage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
. Meanwhile, the business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
rate is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to remain the same.

The health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is forecasted
to witness a rise from 12% in 2010 to 23% in 2030 and it will become the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
for California employees.
Similarly
, from 2010 to 2030, there is a projection that services and information technology will increase
gradually
from 17% to 20% and 8% to 10%,
respectively
.

By contrast, the low wage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
(retail and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food), which had the highest percentage of employment,
is anticipated
to decrease from 24% to 16% over 30 years. Regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, it
is set
to drop from 18% to 14%.
Likewise
, the employment rate in the manufacturing/agriculture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is predicted
to remain the lowest figure. It accounted for 8% in 2010 and will decrease to 4% in 2030.

Finally
, there is a prediction that there will be no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the proportion of business/administration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, it will remain at 13%.
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IELTS academic California employment sector

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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