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The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015.

The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015. e5KYW
The bar above illustrates the amount of employment in percent in the year 2005 and 2015 for both men and women in Canada, Sweden and South Korea. Overall, the employment percentage for women increased for all tree countries, while for men the rate increased in every country except Sweden, where it slightly fell. Starting with less than 80 percent male employment rate, Sweden was the best performing country of all tree in the year 2005 followed by South Korea. The case was not the same in 2015, where we see Canada's rate greatly increase to the point in which it's equal to Sweden's dropping rate of 70%. South Korea is at the peak of the graph for 2015 with almost 80 percent, which is more than 10 percent increase. However, the female's employment rate best performing country in the year 2005 was Sweden with almost 50 percent, which compared to male rate is dramatically low. In the year 2015 we see the employment rate of women skyrocketing compared to 2005 in every country except South Korea, where the increase was mild.
The bar above illustrates the amount of
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employment
in
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percent
in the
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year
2005 and 2015 for both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in Canada, Sweden and South Korea.
Overall
, the
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employment
percentage for women increased for all tree
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countries
, while for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
the
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rate
increased in every
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country
except Sweden, where it
slightly
fell.

Starting with less than 80
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percent
male
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employment
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rate
, Sweden was the best performing
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country
of all tree in the
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year
2005 followed by South Korea. The case was not the same in 2015, where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Canada's
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rate
greatly
increase to the point in which it's equal to Sweden's dropping
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rate
of 70%. South Korea is at the peak of the graph for 2015 with almost 80
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percent
, which is more than 10
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percent
increase.

However
, the female's
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employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
best performing
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country
in the
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year
2005 was Sweden with almost 50
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percent
, which compared to male
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rate
is
dramatically
low. In the
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year
2015 we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of women skyrocketing compared to 2005 in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
except South Korea, where the increase was mild.
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IELTS academic The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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