Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. VBQX3
The graphs show information about the participation at three various entertainment venues and the table gives data about admission prices to those areas in 2009. The three several entertainments in year 2009 were sports, theme parks, and cinemas. As it given, cinemas were the most popular place for entertainment. Over 1 million people likes to watch movies. In addition, cinema’s tickets were the cheapest among all per person and family ticket. The second popular venue was the theme parks, almost 400, 000 people enjoy their time there. The ticket for one person was $70 and for families were $210, which was expensive comparing to the cinemas’ ticket. Although, there are five different kinds of sports which are football (AFL, NRL, and NRU), basketball and cricket game, sports were the least popular spot in year 2009. The admission price for sports from the highest to the least per person and family tickets were football, then basketball, and the cheapest one was cricket game. Overall, the cinema has five times the number of participant for both theme parks and sports.
The graphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
information about the participation at three various entertainment venues and the table gives data about admission prices to those areas in 2009.

The three several entertainments in year 2009 were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, theme parks, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
. As it
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "gave"?
given
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
were the most popular place for entertainment. Over 1 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
likes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema’s
tickets were the cheapest among all per person and family ticket.

The second popular venue was the theme parks, almost 400, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy their time there. The ticket for one person was $70 and for families were $210, which was expensive comparing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas’
ticket.

Although, there are five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which are football (AFL, NRL, and NRU), basketball and cricket game,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
were the least popular spot in year 2009. The admission price for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
from the highest to the least per person and family tickets were football, then basketball, and the cheapest one was cricket game.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
has five times the number of participant for both theme parks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
178 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.