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The bar chart shows type of media to get daily news, by age group 2011

The bar chart shows type of media to get daily news, by age group 2011 7aoJb
The bar charts provides statistics on the number of striking similarities about the proportion of how different age groups read daily news through three sources of media in 2011. In general, it is manifest that while the rate of people using microblogging to get news reached the lowest point among five age groups, the opposite was true for the figure for radio over the age of 18. Also, social networking type fluctuated significantly for the senior citizens. The number of people using social networking to read daily news stood at 80 percent both from 10-17 and 18-29, followed by a dramatic decrease by 30 percent for the 30-49-year-old people. In addition, the figure for this type of media stood at 25 percent for the over 65-year-old population. The quantity of people using radio to get daily news experienced a considerable rise most of the time, which hit a peak of over 90 percent for the 18-29 group. The percentage of microblogging type fluctuated steadily from 10 to 25 percent over the period, which hit the lowest point for the elderly.
The bar charts
You should probably use "provide".
provides
statistics on the number of striking similarities about the proportion of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups read daily
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news
through three sources of media in 2011.

In general
, it is manifest that while the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
Possible spelling mistake found.
microblogging
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
reached the lowest point among five age groups, the opposite was true for the figure for radio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the age of 18.
Also
, social networking type fluctuated
significantly
for the senior citizens.

The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using social networking to read daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
stood at 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
both from 10-17 and 18-29, followed by a dramatic decrease by 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
for the 30-49-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, the figure for this type of media stood at 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
65-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
population.

The quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using radio to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
experienced a considerable rise most of the time, which hit a peak of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
for the 18-29 group.

The percentage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
microblogging
type fluctuated
steadily
from 10 to 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the period, which hit the lowest point for the elderly.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows type of media to get daily news, by age group 2011

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
180 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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