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men and women gym membership

men and women gym membership wBAOe
The line graph illustrates how many fitness memberships were owned by men and women from 1980 to 2010. Overall, despite that numbers for each gender heavily fluctuated, men had more memberships compared to women. While men’s memberships peaked and fell dramatically, that of women’s shown a more steady pattern. As for specifics, men’s memberships started at just over 2000 in 1980, dramatically rising up to around 4000, just to fall back to around 1800 in 1995. The figures were steady until 2000, when they skyrocketed to their highest peak, with approximately 5000 memberships owned in 2005. However, then the figure plummeted to its lowest point of around 800 in 2010. With regards to women’s memberships, there was a gradual rise sometimes interrupted with minor fluctuations that led to around 2800 in 1995, starting from just above 1000. From 1995 and 2010, the memberships fluctuated again, within the range of 800. In 2010 women had substantially more memberships than men, namely around 2000.
The line graph illustrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from 1980 to 2010.

Overall
, despite that numbers for each gender
heavily
fluctuated,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
had more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
peaked and fell
dramatically
, that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
shown a more steady pattern.

As for specifics,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 2000 in 1980,
dramatically
rising up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
4000,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to fall back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
1800 in 1995. The figures were steady until 2000, when they skyrocketed to their highest peak, with approximately 5000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
in 2005.
However
, then the figure plummeted to its lowest point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
800 in 2010.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
, there was a gradual rise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
interrupted with minor fluctuations that led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
2800 in 1995, starting from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 1000.
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "From 1995 to 2010"?
From 1995 and 2010
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
fluctuated again, within the range of 800. In 2010
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
had
substantially
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memberships
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
2000.
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IELTS academic men and women gym membership

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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