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The bar chart shows the proportion of people going to cinema on a week days in one erupeon country in 2003,2005and 2007.

The bar chart shows the proportion of people going to cinema on a week days in one erupeon country in 2003, 2005and 2007. L9GQ3
The infographic in the form of bar graph compares and contrasts the percentage of people visiting theatre in one European nation during the time period of four year. overall the maximum people visited cinema on weekends while others days was least popular among visitors. Turning to the details, in 2003 on Monday spectators went cinema most with the percentage of 10 which was declined in the following years with 11%. on Tuesday the proportion of people visiting theatre was ten times more of Monday in 2003, however in 2005 the figures fell to 16%. whereas Wednesday and Thursday had 16%and 10%proportion of moviegoers in the first year, both witnessed a decline in2005 former decreased by 1%and latter by 2%. , while in 2007wednesday showed a fall of 5% and Thursday rose with 10%. Moving further, interestingly, Friday was remained stable with the ratio of 30%visitors. However, Saturday had the highest figure of people going to cinema in 2003, while reached at peak in 2005with 45%, although witnessed a decline of42%in 2007. follwed by Sunday which also showed the same pattern.
The infographic in the form of bar graph compares and contrasts the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
in one European nation during the time period of four year.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visited cinema on weekends while others days was least popular among visitors. Turning to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in 2003 on Monday spectators went cinema most with the percentage of 10 which
was declined
in the following years with 11%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
Tuesday the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
was ten times more of Monday in 2003,
however
in 2005 the figures fell to 16%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
Wednesday and Thursday had 16%and 10%proportion of moviegoers in the
first
year, both witnessed a decline in2005 former decreased by 1%and latter by 2%.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
while in 2007wednesday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a fall of 5% and Thursday rose with 10%. Moving
further
,
interestingly
, Friday
was remained
stable with the ratio of 30%visitors.
However
, Saturday had the highest figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to cinema in 2003, while reached at peak in 2005with 45%, although witnessed a decline of42%in 2007.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
follwed
by Sunday which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the same pattern.

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the proportion of people going to cinema on a week days in one erupeon country in 2003, 2005and 2007.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
180 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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