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The bar chart shows the percentage of the overweight adults for sixty years in six separated decades, whereas the pie chart demonstrates the weight range of adults based on four categories in 2015.

The bar chart shows the percentage of the overweight adults for sixty years in six separated decades, whereas the pie chart demonstrates the weight range of adults based on four categories in 2015. m1La1
The bar chart shows the percentage of the overweight adults for sixty years in six separated decades, whereas the pie chart demonstrates the weight range of adults based on four categories in 2015. It is evident, the overweight rate has dramatically increased during this period and a high percentage of adults are involved in obesity. As shown in the bar chart, after almost a steady period, a rising trend with more than 30% growth, led to 71% obese rate. The significant sharp has started since 1985, although changes were minor before this year. Due to the four weight groups which are defined based on the scientific criterion, slightly more than a third of adults were in Too fat, one stage before the danger state. However, a tiny proportion of people, just 6% were in Severely obese group. Following the data in pie chart, the percentage of adults who were in Overweight category is 31% and 29% of adults were in Healthy range. Overall, obesity rate has increasingly risen during years and existence of a considerable percentage of people close to severely obese stage is an alert for the society.
The bar
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chart
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shows
the
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percentage
of the overweight
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adults
for sixty years in six separated decades, whereas the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
demonstrates the weight range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
based on four categories in 2015. It is evident, the overweight rate has
dramatically
increased during this period and a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are involved
in obesity.

As shown in the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, after almost a steady period, a rising

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
trend
with more than 30% growth, led to 71% obese rate. The significant sharp has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
since 1985, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
were minor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
this year. Due to the four weight groups which
are defined
based on
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
scientific
criterion,
slightly
more than a third of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
were in Too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, one stage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
state.
However
, a tiny proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
6% were in
Severely
obese group. Following the data in pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who were in Overweight category is 31% and 29% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
were in Healthy range.

Overall
, obesity rate has
increasingly
risen during years and existence of a considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
close to
severely
obese stage is an alert for the society.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows the percentage of the overweight adults for sixty years in six separated decades, whereas the pie chart demonstrates the weight range of adults based on four categories in 2015.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
189 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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